Mysteryland
Festival, Floriade Terein Haarlemmermeer, Vijfhuizen, The
Netherlands
The Mysteryland Festival is a large sclae
open air Dutch event held every year in Haarlemmermeer.
Mysteryland Review...
As experienced festival goers with many
excursions to Creamfields, Global Gathering and the gone but
not forgotten experienced festival goers with many excursions
to Creamfields, Global Gathering and the gone but not forgotten
Gatecrasher Summer Sound System, we set off for Mysteryland
in Haarlemmermeer, Holland expecting the usual combination
of tents, mud, over priced burgers and raving chavs beloved
of UK do’s.
We made our way there via the easy and cheap Dutch public
transport network and headed towards the site. It all kicked
off at 11am, early by our standards but the 11pm finish means
the public transport is there on the way back, and a country
the size of Greater London the journey there is maximum of
a few hours. Plus the day light hours means you can explore
the vast array of sights, sounds and entertainment Mysteryland
has to offer.
While we were waiting for the rest of our party to arrive
we checked out the Cheese Arena where a full on foam party
was underway, watched over by two large blue cows.
The next arena we stumbled across we assumed was the main
arena given its huge build and dramatic 100ft high DJ box.
After a boogie to C J Bolland’s ‘The Prophet’
we moved onto the Ex PornStar Arena, where indeed huge quantities
of porn and DJs in bondage gear were on display.
At 2pm Benny Bennasi was on the main open air stage, even
bigger than our first port of call. His usual blend of filthy
electro trance really floats my boat, and inspired me ton
head off after his set to Felix Da Housecat’s tent to
catch the very hairy Glimmers. Wandering about the arenas
could have taken all day, with the map showing only a little
of what was available. Spas, confession boxes and bungey jumps
all provided amusement, if the very hard to please couldn’t
find something to there musical tastes.
Armand Van Helden on the main stage was an odd follow on
post Oakenfold, but opening with House of Jealous Lovers won
my vote anyway. The only let down was the hideously annoying
MC, Vika Kova, obviously big news in her own country, but
the Tina Turner look and screeching over sets inspired nothing
but violence in me.
We thought returning to Felix would provide relief but there
she was again, jumping out of a cake for the big man’s
birthday.
After a spot of lying on the grass spotting the day’s
craziest outfits, we flitted between Felix and the Subliminal
Sessions. The toilets now were becoming a more challenging
experience, but in true Dutch style there were still attendants
providing toilet roll and attempts at mopping up. A short
cut through the hip hop tent provided a great boogie in the
last hours of the night, with a big ol’ mash up of Pussy
Cat Dolls, Ludacris and the like.
Erol Alkan was our final set of the night, letting the UK
side down a little by trying to be too damn clever with Mylo’s
Drop the Pressure and not accepting when it was time to spin
it back and give it up.
We left the music behind and flowed with the crowds to leave
the site, where a lucky combination of on time buses and trains
had us back at base camp by half midnight. The rest of our
party weren’t as fortunate and ended up in the wrong
direction, on the wrong buses, finally staggering in at 2am.
General consensus was that Mysteryland spanks the pants off
any of the festivals back home, with so much planning and
organisation that every last detail was catered for. Although
there was no visible police presence, we felt safe all day,
the free buses back to the station cleared the crowds quickly,
and the token system made scrabbling for change a distant
memory.
